Important things to know first...
1. Consistency is a must- everyone involved must do the same thing
2. Structure is a must- meals at proper times and the same everyday, she knows what will happen everyday...sudden change can bring on chaos in her mind. Warnings of change are good.
3. Follow thru is a must- don't ever say anything you can't honestly follow thru on......
4. Love is a must
5. Visual is best
Behavior Charts: The best ones are one that are positive. The child is always earning something. Taking away is a very negative approach which encourages the child to not try. There needs to be success. A very easy one is a paper ring chain that can hang from anywhere in the house. Anytime the child makes a good choice, or shows good social behavior, she gets to add a paper ring. Certain amount of rings can have different awards. Another thing is gums in a gumball machine.
Aggression: Make a nice size poster that lists the steps to properly handling yourself when mad. 1) STOP (make an a drawing of actual red stop sign) 2) Think 3) Choose a proper way to express your self. Now you can make a list under #3 for her to choose, or have them in a paper bag. It would be a good idea if all people in the house follow this chart.
Rules of the House: Since visual is a very good tool, making a poster to put somewhere with the rules can be a very good thing...remember, everyone must follow rules!
No Negativity: If she does not make a proper choice after 1 or 2 prompts don't even think of taking away any of her paper chains or gum drops. If you do not work, you do not get paid but you boss does not take away your money.
Awards: Try to stay away from things that cost a lot of money. Extra Tv time, outing to the park, bike ride, one on one with a parent, picking where the family eats out next. Example: 5 chains= extra TV time, 10= bike ride, hit the floor= let's go get an ice cream
Talking to her: Get down to her eye level and tell her in very short understandable sentences what is expected. Lectures that last more than 5 minutes are lost and they just do not listen anymore. Say what is expected, give 2 choices, then walk away. Give her time to make proper choice...expecting a choice in a few minutes is setting her up for failure. She needs about 10 to fully process.
Hope this helps....
1. Consistency is a must- everyone involved must do the same thing
2. Structure is a must- meals at proper times and the same everyday, she knows what will happen everyday...sudden change can bring on chaos in her mind. Warnings of change are good.
3. Follow thru is a must- don't ever say anything you can't honestly follow thru on......
4. Love is a must
5. Visual is best
Behavior Charts: The best ones are one that are positive. The child is always earning something. Taking away is a very negative approach which encourages the child to not try. There needs to be success. A very easy one is a paper ring chain that can hang from anywhere in the house. Anytime the child makes a good choice, or shows good social behavior, she gets to add a paper ring. Certain amount of rings can have different awards. Another thing is gums in a gumball machine.
Aggression: Make a nice size poster that lists the steps to properly handling yourself when mad. 1) STOP (make an a drawing of actual red stop sign) 2) Think 3) Choose a proper way to express your self. Now you can make a list under #3 for her to choose, or have them in a paper bag. It would be a good idea if all people in the house follow this chart.
Rules of the House: Since visual is a very good tool, making a poster to put somewhere with the rules can be a very good thing...remember, everyone must follow rules!
No Negativity: If she does not make a proper choice after 1 or 2 prompts don't even think of taking away any of her paper chains or gum drops. If you do not work, you do not get paid but you boss does not take away your money.
Awards: Try to stay away from things that cost a lot of money. Extra Tv time, outing to the park, bike ride, one on one with a parent, picking where the family eats out next. Example: 5 chains= extra TV time, 10= bike ride, hit the floor= let's go get an ice cream
Talking to her: Get down to her eye level and tell her in very short understandable sentences what is expected. Lectures that last more than 5 minutes are lost and they just do not listen anymore. Say what is expected, give 2 choices, then walk away. Give her time to make proper choice...expecting a choice in a few minutes is setting her up for failure. She needs about 10 to fully process.
Hope this helps....
