I suggest you talk to a professional mental health specialist. You have a lot going on in your head and your body is paying for it. Once you start sorting that out you can start a diet and exercise plan. Loose skin from weight loss can be minimized with proper foundations when working out, diet and skin care. What is left can be masked with proper foundations.
@355 lbs, You may need to see a weight loss surgeon, your primary doctor for possible weight loss meds (not recommended) and counseling.
Could you join a gym, take group classes?
I'm hoping you find peace soon. Please don't give up or into your sad feelings.
Well if you want to even start to repair what is broken then turn to the ones that can help you get there .. Starting with your own doctor. Ask for help to get the resources you need to start a healthier approach to life in general. Focus on health both physically and mentally , not just losing weight. Stop thinking about what you don't want (like surgery to remove loose skin) and concentrate on what you do want. Think positive and enjoy the benefits of feeling better, sleeping better, looking towards a brighter future.
I applaud you for starting in this direction by merely asking for help .. By asking you will find an entire support system that can help you and the struggles you face. You can do this!
Dear Anon,
I don't really have anything to add to the information Gator Blu has given you, but just want to add my admiration and all best wishes for you.
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