Do you really think they would want you to throw your life away? If they have both passed on then you are their legacy, go do something good to help others! Seek spiritual enlightenment just start by praying because someone is listening!
I've been in the same room as someone trying to kill themselves with pills and they went through some serious agony before they finally decided to stop being selfish and throw them up. He probably damaged his liver so don't even attempt it. Just breathe, and keep breathing. God is Love and He loves you!