I have been dealing with depression for about two months now and I can not gather the courage to tell my parents. I have had suicidal thoughts twice. I need coping methods. DO NOT tell me to go get a devoted hobby or a distraction?

I like to help. I'm good at fixing things . I have a big heart. I like to give food and clothes directly to the homeless. I was homeless as a teenager. I was a rock star. I'm old. I don't believe in gods. (but love to argue about it).