Anonymous

My GF has depression and tends to hurt herself. What should I do? I know for sure her mom triggers her depression. I visit them constantly (its been a year now) and it happens often. I found out her mom also has a mental problem but doesn't want to get help. It gets worse cause it affects the whole family. My GF is afraid to speak her mind and tell her mom what she wants. She's already 22 but unfortunately still living with them cause she needs to finish her course. We are in the Philippines and we have a different setup here. Much as I want to help, I don't think I am in the right position. I have my own job, independent and can live my life the way I want to but when it comes to her and her family, I guess I don't have the right. I really want to help her though. They went to the doctor once but her mom never saw it as a priority. She always finds a reason to cancel appointments. She manipulates everything. She can even make the doctors belive that her daughter is making up stories about her. What should I do?

3 Answers

Thrice Gotcha Profile
Thrice Gotcha answered

Depression is a disease of mind and perception no matter what the family dynamic is the resolution of this problem starts with the person i would like to recommend a book i read recently that has had a profound impact on me its called "The Power of Now" maybe you can buy it for her and have her read it

Sharron Prestcott Profile

If your girlfriend is hurting herself she needs the help of a doctor, depression is also an illness she needs medicine for.  Could you go with her to the doctor and help her explain the situation?

Her mother is manipulating her daughter because it's to her advantage but at 22 years old your girlfriend has a right to her own life.  Please help her because this is not going to get better by itself.

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered

I'm so sorry u have to go through this, and just to let you know, I understand the typical traditions they have in the Philippines. Yes, it would be disrespectful to approach her mother the "American way", but I think there is a way to explain things respectfully.

If you say, "I'm very concerned about your daughter, you know, I love her a lot, and I'm only saying this because I care about her..." then go on to explain her feelings FOR her.

Mothers there always love their daughters, but due to common issues over there it can be a struggle. Just know that no matter what happens you both will have each other, and that family bonds aren't as fragile as you think.

Best of luck. Try to buy her some fish balls once in a while. :)

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Anonymous