Have you ever sought the approval of someone and it just didn't turn out well?

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5 Answers

Jann Nikka Profile
Jann Nikka answered

My mom. Terrible woman and disastrous, disappointing and shameful advice advice 😔. I tried for 30 years, then moved 900 miles away, didn't see her for 29 years. We both were extremely overjoyed and happy. She haven't changed, but I didn't care. She moved onto R.I.P. 

Yin And Yang Profile
Yin And Yang answered

Some people you just can not please,

Others just can not please you....

So you don't go through life trying to please others

and you don't go through life only pleasing yourself.

So whats a person to do?

Don't be a "people pleaser" cuz you will never succeed but do respect people and you will see, you will be pleased.

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Jann Nikka
Jann Nikka commented
Too bad I couldn't use your advice as a child, teen and young adult.
Yin And Yang
Yin And Yang commented
I am so sorry my friend. :0(
I wish your mom would have had a "mom gene" in her. You are a beautiful precious child and deserve to be treated as such. I hope you some day will forgive her. Forgiveness does not get her off of the hook, but it sets you free. You deserve freedom my friend. :0)
Jann Nikka
Jann Nikka commented
😔
Virginia Lou Profile
Virginia Lou answered

Dear Zack,

There is a fascinating (to me, anyway) book on that topic, Alice Miller wrote it, THE DRAMA OF THE GIFTED CHILD...the idea that we all spend our childhood trying to please someone or other, futility, ending up a gifted talented people-pleasing mess with no life of our own, then passing all this dysfunction on to the next generation.

I read that book till it fell apart...helped me a lot.

Didge Doo Profile
Didge Doo answered

Oh yeah, but I was quite young. The most notable were my in-laws. Nice people but bossy. We learned very quickly that we wouldn't get their approval no matter what we did so we just did things our way and let the flak fall where it may.

That was the perfect solution for us and we learned not to be too concerned about what other people think.

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

There is very little pleasing my mother-in-law. The first few years of my marriage I went out of my way to try to please her. After my husband got a job out of state, and we got some distance from her I could see her for what she was and quit trying so hard. The last straw was when she tried to give me marriage advice about 10 years ago. The woman had four failed marriages, that even when you totaled them together it didn't add up to the amount of time I had been married at that point.

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Zack -  Mr. GenXer
I had an entire family con me and everyone of them had 2 faces. The whole thing went on for 12 years or so. Only after my ex had a baby did everyone show their true faces. It all completely took me by surprise. Sorry you had to go through that.
PJ Stein
PJ Stein commented
At least my husband knows how she is and we never have to argue over it. Your situation sounds much worse. I am sorry you had to go through that. I hope you find someone who can show you how life and love truly are suppose to be.

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