I pooped and now my butt hurts. What to do?

Sit on an ice cube !

Hire a sky writing plane and tell the whole world.

And I go with Cookie's suggestion. Ask Mummy to kiss it better.

I heard about one little boy who was learning to use a toilet and the seat fell on his dinger. He ran crying to his mother yelling, "Mummy, Mummy, tiss it better." And she said, "You get more like your father every day"

Get some ice