How are you supposed to build confidence? My coach from the gym I go to gave me a little pep talk about how I should boost up my confidence level and he says it as if it is very easy to boost up the confidence level while it is very hard for me to.

Dear Anonymous,

Sometimes there are people who seem naturally self-confident, giving pep talks to the rest of us...and what they say may not make sense and certainly not help.

What I would like to mention to you are some benefits of NOT being self-confident. For one, you are more open to life...self-confident people, feeling they are on top of life, may not be listening very well. And I think you may be less judgmental, also, kinder. Perhaps more willing to learn new things...

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And I will tell you that now, even though I have self-confidence just because of my age, I STILL make a point of remembering that open uncertainly of earlier years because it was so fruitful for me.

Many things i'd tell you right now, (for me is the truth) but generally they are "just" my opinion.

As a very confident person i can tell, all you gotta do is to observe yourself from another perspective.

You need to start to believe in yourself. You need to become aware of the power of your brain. Your mind. You need to start to create a character for yourself from the scratch. A character with self-structure. Believe in yourself, have faith in yourself and become sure that you can do. And you are unique in your own way. This is the first thing you must swallow. (everyone has their own unique appearance and everyone has their own unique abilities) therefore,

(Appearance): You shouldn't be unconfident about how you look. Because you have your own special appearance. The ones that no one else have but you. (colors, sizes, numbers), those are the least important for achievements but also they make you to be you and you must embrace it and see the brightness you own within). You'll be amazed of the impressions you will catch after seeing yourself differently. Flaws are part of us. Nobody's perfect, study your flaws and powers and accept them all. Then bring the best out of yourself.

(Abilities): When it comes to abilities, anything that comes through you and your life from the smallest thing to the biggest ones, you must know that life is limitless and our capacity of achieving is unlimited. You can do whatever you want to do, and you can reach any goal you set. Small and big, short-term and long-term. What you need is (Consistency) (Faith) (Self-Believe) (Courage) (Positiveness) (Focus) and some (Organization) including (Passion)  reaching these factors are easier than you think, you must ask yourself why wouldn't you believe in yourself ? If you do something and you fail, you must know, success comes with series of failures. That's how we gain experience. And experience guarantees our improvement. So at the end of the day, you lost nothing but earn points. If people around try to take you down, well you must know these kind of people will always be there. You must listen to yourself and your heart. You know who are you and where you going. When you know that, doesn't matter what they say, you know what you are capable of and you're going it shine it over people just like a sunrise. What you need to do is to believe in yourself. To know that you have nothing less than any other people. Even those who you would personally make an example of as very successful people. You need to approach, you must put yourself in the situation and keep yourself motivated and never look back. Set goals for yourself, as you reach them, you'll feel better each time. Never get tire of repeating something. Remember,"It only has to work once" when it happens, you'll enjoy of what you've achieved, learnt or succeed. And there's a fine line between selfishness and self confidence. Make sure to not confuse them.

You set small goals for yourself. As you accomplish each goal make the next one a little harder. With each new accomplishment your confidence grows.

It's hard to give you good advice without knowing your age and whether you are male or female.

Since it's a gym coach, it's probably involves having sufficient strength to do basic gym requirements.

In that case, it might be a good time to start a basic workout program at home with some weights.

Self confidence and self esteem are related concepts.  It's not unusual for some people to go through life without sufficient self esteem if they haven't been told somewhere along the line that they matter just because they exist.

Here's a site that may give you a feeling for what's involved with achieving confidence:

https://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html

A tip for maintaining confidence: Realize that no one remembers your little mistakes, the things that may seem mortifying to you. Try and remember how silly X looked the last time he tripped, or try laughing at the people who couldn't lift an empty barbell. Most likely, you can't because it's not a big deal. Once you've established that most people couldn't give any craps about how silly you look, your self esteem may be much easier to maintain, and you'll feel a lot of weight off your shoulders.