There seems to be something going on. It's not normal, as you obviously know, or you wouldn't be asking. Perhaps there's a chemical imbalance in your brain. I'd put a lot of down to just your personality, though, and even to do with how you were raised, what people and situations were like, around you, during your more informative years.
it wouldn't hurt to seek some professional advice. It can't hurt, and it might just help, right? It's good you are reaching out and realizing there's something not right. I hope you can find some solace in your situation. You've taken the first step.
