Unless you've experienced depression please don't answer cause I need answers from people who have experienced it, thanks. I have an extremely close friend who is going through depression. What is the worst/best thing I could say?


7 Answers

Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

Kayle, just be with your friend. Ask her/him if there is anything that you can do to help them. Depression turns people inside themselves - they try to bury their feelings because it hurts.

If you have an extra spiral notebook, give it to your friend and ask them to journal every day just to get their feelings out. You don't want to read this - this should be presented as a helping aid to help them cope.

If they tell you what's bothering them and if you feel they would be open to suggestions, tell them that you'd like to think about what they've told you and see if you can find a way to help.

If you feel they are suicidal, they should contact the National Suicide Prevention hotline - 800-273-TALK.

If they've been depressed a while and their parents are willing to take them, there are anti-depressants that can help.

Lastly, encourage your friend to walk every day for 30 minutes. Research on anxiety, depression and exercise shows that the psychological and physical benefits of exercise can also help reduce anxiety and improve mood. You're a good friend to want to help. Good luck.

Ancient Hippy Profile
Ancient Hippy answered

I haven't gone through depression myself but my wife went through it many years ago. She said the worst comment, and most often said comment, was "just don't feel that way, think happy things". That would aggravate her more than anything else.

Charles Davis Profile
Charles Davis answered

I've had acute depression at a few times in my life, but there are many different things that make it that way, However I have been with my wife that is bipolar for an even longer time,  even that is another state of mind. In order to even fancy an answer they'd have to be a better description of the state of mind of the person you are speaking of. Which I think you are not able to do. A person having an  emotional issues needs to seek a professional evaluation, and then seek treatment based on that assessment.

Retiredkop Retiredkop Profile

Been there!  In 1989 I went to the doctor to get my test results.  He sat me in a chair, pulled another one over held my hand and said "How is your relationship with God"  I told him it was fine, then he told me I have 18 months to live.  I went to another doctor for a second opinion. I got the same maneuver but he just came out and said I hand a year to live.  I went to a third doctor and got the same maneuver but this one gave me six months.  As you can tell, I survived!  Five years ago I went to see a neurologist.  

The said the nerves in my legs and arms were dying, no nerves to tell the brain to send blood to the muscles, the muscle dies.  In time it progresses to the heart, and I die.  The next day when I returned to work the sheriff asked what the doc said.  It was always honest with him so it told him.  He called me into his office later and gave me three options.  I could quit, retire, or be terminated, I had five minutes to pick one.  When I asked why I was told I was unfit for duty physically.  I ended a 35 year career by retiring!  Since then my doctor showed my my MRI resents for the last two years.  I have degenerative disc disease, all of my spinal discs are gone and due to 52 years of degenerative ostio arthritis I have no cartilage in any of my major joints.  A team of 18 orthopedic surgeons now tell me there is nothing they can do except medicate me until it is over.  Been depressed, oh heck yes.  Best advise I can give you is be there for your friend.  

When he/she wants to talk listen, they are going through a lot of different phases right now. My family for the most part is in denial, John/dad isn't going to die, they said that before and he is still here.  Worst thing you can do is have what I call plastic symphony.  Mouthing the words without the feeling that goes with it.  Don't be overly helpful. If they want some help, they will ask if they know you care and want to help.  As for me, when God says come home I'll go, until then I'll get by, I know who my real friends are, I love and appreciate them while I can!

Kayle Smyth Profile
Kayle Smyth answered

Thank you all for the answers and please share any more advice you might come up with.  To clarify there's not anything mentally wrong with her, it's not a health thing, it's legitimate situations around her that are causing this. I know some of them, but not many.

Answer Question