Does A Person With Bipolar Always Blame Someone Else,and Never Moves On From The Past?always Saying Well You Did It Than So I Was Just Paying You Back The Hurt You Caused Me?


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Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I assume the person you refer to is a bf, gf, husband or wife (significant other of some sort).  Here is a summary of my story.

I have bipolar 1 and before I and my (bf at the time - husband now) understood that I had an illness, I was extremely confused and so was he.  I would blame him for the pain I was feeling when depressed and the anger I was feeling when manic.  He did not understand why because he was so loving, so good to me - and would never intentionally hurt me.  Soon, we both believed the problem really was because of him - eventually, he became overwhelmed and he shut down both mentally and physically.  He still could not understand what what he was doing wrong after I had "told" him several times (in my mind).
Because we both were clueless as to my illness and because I believed external factors (my husband) were causing the pain, I resented him, began to hate him and told my friends and family (and myself) that I was a mess because of him - everyone thought he was making my life hell (while we live together - they were not at our house to witness my behavior - they did not know "us" as a couple in our intimate lives).  I left him for another guy thinking I had eliminated the source of all my aweful feelings - a "cure".  My husband was devastated, but I felt like he deserved it because in my mind, "he" had caused me soooo much pain.  I soon found out that these feelings did not go away - the new guy was now the "cause" of my problems once the mania turned to depression.  I did some soul searching and realized that I needed help.  I pushed the man I loved more than anything in the whole wide world, out of my life for a stranger I thought I cared about.  It turns out that while I was away, my husband also realized that my behavior was not "normal", and after many long heart-wrenching discussions we knew that we could never be apart.  
We both began working on the illness together - in my mind there is no other way for BP relationships to succeed.  If you do have a relationship with BP - you BOTH have BP and if you want a successful relationship BOTH of you need to be educated and understand that it WILL be VERY difficult at times.  You CANNOT do this alone.  Find a good doctor, go to the appointments TOGETHER.  Learn when it is that your significant other NEEDS time alone or when they NEED time with you.  Make sure YOU have alone time as well.  Go out and buy some notebooks - document the changes in your behavior.  Learn how to communicate feelings with each other.  If you love each other it is worth it.  I still feel guilt for blaming my husband even though he has forgiven me.  So long story short, it is possible that the person with BP is blaming you for something that happened in the past, the more important questions "DOES YOUR SIGNIFICANT HAVE A TREATMENT PLAN IN PLACE?", "DO THEY FOLLOW THEIR PLAN"?  "ARE YOU HELPING TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY"?
greg c Profile
greg c answered
Well first, as one who is bipolar myself, I can say that I don't ALWAYS blame others! I think I blame others just like anybody else might - bipolar or not! Blaming others is not exclusive to bipolars, it's a universal thing!

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