How Do You Tell Your Girlfriend That You Have Facial Herpes Without Having Her Break Up With You?


2 Answers

Oscar De La Huerte Profile
Thousands of people have 'facial herpes' (commonly known as cold sores) - therefore I'd just tell her you occasionally get cold sores and that during that time you'd be happier not kissing - that way she won't become infected.

What to tell your girlfriend when you have a cold sore

You mention being concerned that your girlfriend might break up with you when she finds out that you've got cold sores- what is the reasoning behind that?

If you are worried that she'll take it as a sign that you may have been unfaithful, then you may need to explain how you may have encountered the virus in the first place.

If you're worried she'll break up with you because she's worried about catching them herself, you can try and allay her fears by explaining the nature of the condition.

What are cold sores? How do you get them?

The only way you can catch cold sores (or any form of herpes) is by direct contact with someone who has an active sore. You cannot catch it if there is no sore present. If you do have an active sore avoid kissing and oral sex, as the virus is passed on that way.

Once you have the virus, it never leaves your body but lies dormant until conditions are right for it to come to the surface and multiply - which is what the 'sore' is. You'll get one when your body is 'run down', say during a cold or other illness or at times of stress.

Any over-the-counter cold sore preparation containing acyclovir, if applied as soon as you feel the tell-tale tingle or smarting will make the cold sore go away much quicker, or even not come out at all.

Also keeping to a good diet, taking a good quality multi-vitamin, getting plenty of sleep and avoiding stress (difficult, I know!) is a good idea as a deficiency of these things can all aggravate any form of herpes.
Will Martin Profile
Will Martin answered
If someone would break up with you because you have facial herpes, you are probably better off without them. I know facial herpes is annoying, sometimes painful and doesn't look pretty, but it is very common, not in any way life-threatening, nobody has it all the time and it tends to get less bad with age.

However, your girlfriend could be unnecessarily panicked if she doesn't know anything about this condition, so the main thing is to make sure that she, and you, are both properly informed.

You could also seek medical advice, though up to now there is little that doctors can do. However, a doctor can certainly reassure you that facial herpes isn't dangerous, and maybe give some general advice on treatment, avoiding infecting others etc.

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