I'd either call that more than a "mild" breakdown ... Or just sheer stupidity.
I am in my right mind, in the sense that I know what I'm doing... but I had a mild breakdown in which I sharpened my teeth with a file today. How do I explain that to my family?
I can't help but think that you're trolling because doing something that stupid cannot be real. ...
Your family is the easy part. You're going to have to explain things to a dentist when those teeth break.
Then you'll have to explain things to yourself when it costs $3,000 per tooth to have them fixed.
There are groups of people in the past who filed their teeth to enhance their beauty, but it isn't something you can do for yourself. I think you are a bridge dweller with nothing to do. Instead of making up this stuff, get off the couch and make an actual contribution in the world.