I am a medical assistant. I have done home health and worked with hospice. I have seen people pass away. Usually when the end is near, our loved ones will hallucinate. So it is best to get there as soon as possible. It could be near, or it could take a while. I am sorry you have to go through this. When people are near the end, they wont eat or drink. You can swab their mouth with a wet swab but that don't help too much. Some will make sure they are comfortable by giving them medication if their illness is painful. But they usually hallucinate and reach up in the air and stare off into the corners, almost like they can see someone we can't. Their breathing will become more rapid, and they will breath more heavier. Almost, like they are in distress. Usually, they become comatosed, where they are not aware of what is going on or who is there. I like to think when the end is near that they can see angels or others who have passed and they are reaching out to them and they know its their time to go. It is sad, I am sorry. I am not an expert. But this is just what I have seen. If you have more questions give me a shout.
My Granny is dying of liver cancer that metastasized from breast cancer that we thought was taken care of 5 years ago. It has also spread to her brain making her very confused most of the time. We have had her in hospice care at home for a week now and she has been going downhill very quickly ever since. Her urine is a very dark brown color, she is only awake for about 5-10 minutes at a time a few times per day, she talks to people who arent in the room and stares into corners a lot of the time. When she sleeps she takes short but deep breaths that are very far apart (sometimes up to 10 seconds) and her pulse and respiration stats have been slowly but steadily falling over the past week. She has lost a lot of weight and is down to about 100lbs but she is starting to retain a lot of fluid in her arms and legs. She isn't eating anymore but she is still taking some liquids like orange juice and water. Although she is only 69, she looks like shes atleast 100. Nobody has been able to give us a clear answer as far as how long this will last but if I were to guess, I don't think she will be with us any more than a week. I'm not sure that there is any way to really prepare for some one you love dying. I have never experienced anything like this and I never thought my Granny could look so old and helpless. She made it very clear to everyone though that she is ready to go and is not afraid and that brings me a lot of comfort. Although she isn't responding very well when we speak to her, I told her everything that was on my chest. Whether or not she understood me, I don't know but it made me feel much better to let her know how I feel and that I love her very much and that its ok to let go.
I am so sorry you have to go through this, I had the same experience with my mother in law who I truly loved with cancer, I kept her and took care of her, in the last few weeks of her life she did hallucinate,hospice and doctors told me to prepare , but there is no way to prepare for death with someone you love so much, I thought I would die, I even wanted to die. Then after a week or so the only thing that got me half way out of the state I was in was someone told me Mom would not want this , and they were right, My life has never been the same and never will I know now though I was selfish for wanting her with me so long because she is asleep now and not suffering I am. I wish you all my prayers e-mail me if you would like to talk kiss your father for me and just be with him as long as you can,
I'm 21 years old. My mom was diagnosed with liver cancer in December 2009. She was originally given 4 months to live, but she sought out a second opinion. She went on treatments and tons of medications, but it came to the point where there was nothing more that could be done for her. I'm in college, and when I came home for Thanksgiving break, she seemed like a totally different person. Her short term memory was all but gone, and she was extremely weak. She gradually started to go down hill, but then one day she bounced back. When I was home for winter break in December 2010, she was weak but her short term memory was a lot better. When I returned to school in January 2011, my dad called and told me she was in the hospital due to her weakness. She was incapable of doing anything without his help. When she was in the hospital, they found out she was low on blood, so they gave her move and sent her home. She's been going through some physical therapy to get her strength back. Today, however, she called me on the phone for the first time in 2 weeks...she told me all about two little children she could see sitting in the corner of her room hugging each other; she was kinda freaked out by it. She even made my dad get her a camera so she could have proof. She realizes (after the fact) that she has hallucinations apparently, but that doesn't stop her from having them. I'm over 300 miles away when I'm at school, so I can't just drop everything and go home. When she called me today, her voice was very different...she seemed to be short of breath, and she slurred her words. I got online to see what I could find about hallucinations and liver cancer...the results are terrifying. My mom is still alive, but she doesn't resemble her much anymore...I can't talk to her like I used to, go out with her like I used to...she won't be here to see my graduation from college; she won't ever see me get married. I already miss her so much.
